Chapter-4

Miranda slammed the door of the Markings’ and hurried down the stairs, her mind numb with memories of her past.

She couldn’t believe her best friend could be so insensitive about her and Michael. Like it was no big deal that the guy hanged himself with the same items she has bought with him. Like it was no big deal that she felt no remorse afterwards. Like it was no big deal that she never moved on from him.

At one point of her escape, she wished Dina would follow her and stop her from leaving. But apparently, her best-friend was too preoccupied entertaining her boyfriend and Dan.

She wished Dina hadn’t brought up Michael during the last conversation. Doesn’t she understand how hard it had been for the last one year, trying to forget all of it? Dina had never been in a serious relationship, nor had she bothered to. It was safe, in one way.

“Hey, Miranda. This is Dan here. He works at the local NGO. The same as Ryan.” The introduction had been enough to make Miranda realize the Dina was genuinely drunk. Dan was the same guy Dina was trying to set her up with.

She hadn’t said anything. Instead she had just gotten herself seated and smiled.

“Miranda had a boyfriend, guys. His name was Michael. A male chauvinist and a complete jerk.” Dina had slurred into her drink.

“Go slow, sugar. You are drunk.” Kevin had been careful as he had taken her hand in his. It had made Miranda wonder how many times Dina must have gone over with the story with Kevin.

“You had a boyfriend?” Dan had seemed interested and offended at the same time.

“Yes.” Before Miranda could answer, Dina had jumped into the conversation again.

“That jerk didn’t even propose her properly. Good thing he died. Cheers to that!” Dina had clinked her almost empty wineglass to the one placed for Miranda on the table.

“Miranda, I am really sorry. I …” Kevin had started to say, but it had been of no use.

“Shut up, Kevin. You are not sorry that he died. No one in this room is.” Dina had laughed.

This had been enough for Miranda. After a long time, she had felt so protective about him. In spite of all the calls from Kevin and Dan to calm down, she had walked out of the house.

Walking to her car hadn’t been any easier. She was constantly being reminded of those nights when Mike had walked her to her car and his easy conversations that made her wish the walks lasted longer. He asked about her often, and sweet enough, remembered all the details.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Michael had asked once, when she had told him about her parents’ complicated relationship.

“Are you crazy?” Miranda had laughed, even though the suggestion had stunned her.

“Man to man talks. It’s effective.” Mike had pursed his lips to avoid a laugh.

“Well, no thanks. If my dad hears about me dating a professional basketball player, he is going to flip.”

“What is wrong with that?” Michael had looked surprised.

“Well, Dad really wants to see me with someone more, you know, the geek types? He thinks it is risky when the guy is bigger because according to him, they get more aggressive and lose temper often.” Miranda had shrugged and turned to her side, avoiding eye-contact.

“You think I could be aggressive?” Those words had haunted her for the rest of her relationship and afterwards.

“My dad does. Not me. There is a difference.”

The kiss afterwards had been completely unexpected.

Shrugging those memories away were like plucking wool balls from an old wool sweater. No matter how hard she tried, she could never get all of them pulled out. And somehow, they managed to make their way back so finally the efforts proved useless.

“Get yourself together. Breathe. Concentrate on yourself.” Miranda chanted, trying to breathe as much as possible when she had gotten herself seated inside the automobile. Her parents had suggested a psychologist after the funeral, but she had declined, worried she might confess her heart out which might turn out as a major problem.

Driving down the road, she passed the town church and the burial grounds and a chill crept up her spine. Breathe. She wished she didn’t have to pass these grounds so often. But Dina was in town and if she wanted to meet her, she will have to take this route. Given, of course, she wanted to meet her after everything.